October 3, 2015
In high school I dreaded math class. I'd approach the door and feel queasy. The process was tedious and I was so bad at it. There were sequences of symbols called formulas, other things called proofs and I'd get agitaged at the fact that I'd come up with an answer and after seeing how I got there, the answer would be wrong. I'd ask my teachers why we had to learn such an infuriating process in the first place. At the time, I found what they had to say unsatisfying.
Years passed and I realized that sometimes we have to do things that we won't fully understand until later, that a lot of the things we don't like are the same things we know the least about. It's the action of staying open to what we don't know that helps us connect to life and other people.
Now I see that the same subjects that used to make me sick (math, science and physics ) are the tools that people have needed to physically make sense of nature, the universe, how everything works, and how everything is measured. Everything that you see in front of you came into physical form through imagination and the universal language of science and math. So cool.
Just yesterday you and I took a walk around Echo Park Lake with your mom. You fell asleep on her chest while she and I talked about life, love, partnership, and the dangers of the agressive geese walking around on the grass. One day soon you'll be walking around with us too, noticing how every moment counts as it adds up to the next moment and to the next and to the next.
I hope I give you satisfying answers to whatever you're curious about.
September 20, 2015 Entry no.1
If you ever find yourself wondering about what the "beauty" means, I like the spin Deena Metzger puts on it: "Beauty occurs when something is completely, utterly, and openly itself". In other words, you do you, you radical angel you. With every choice you'll have to make there will be a bigger YES in your body (the NOs will feel weird and make you wanna make a face about it). That YES points to the thing in you that wants to make itself known. I've always tied my shoes the "bunny ears" way (I'll explain this later), just because it makes me smile. When you can, do the thing that'll make you smile to yourself in the moment and later on.
Happy six months of earthly life, dear friend. This is quite a time to be alive.