• Trinity Capili

Diorama Mama


"Humpback Whale in the Roses" by Trinity Capili

Toy model, posterboard, Jackson & Perkins gardening catalog, gluestick, sunlight, maglite

Inspirations:

Music that was on during its creation: "Over My Head" by Alabama Shakes

People: Natalia Molchanova (World renown deep diver who was lost in the depths), Megan Malone who sent me a diorama in the mail that made me realize that dioramas were a passion of mine and this passion still lives (It LIVES!), Kori Stanton who let's me play the role of photo assistant and without whom this wouldn't look as good because I lit this up amateur style while remembering skills that I picked up under her wing.

The things I thought about while making this:

The refrain in that song "Loving so deeply I'm in over my head..."

Being over our heads in feelings is exactly what the human body is built to experience. Overwhelmed isn't such a bad thing. The state of being filled to the brim with feelings-- especially love, that beyond-logic force that affects all of our major physiological systems, can feel terrifying. True.

But love's the one thing that's worth meeting at its pointiest edge, is it not?

What makes the "over my head" sensation tricky is the acquired weirdness in our restless and brilliant minds; because most of us weren't raised being reminded of how powerful and beautiful we are, there's a tendency sometimes to meet awesome things with immediate suspicion, calling it "too good to be true". Other times we find a cool thing, conclude that it's the only good thing that will ever come along and end up squeezing the life out of it before "the other shoe drops". My friend Melvin and I lovingly also call this feeling "bracing for impact."

I've witnessed too many folks, myself included, push some pretty wonderful things away: romance, heartfelt complements, carreer change, or a simple offering of help and support.

I wonder if pushing things like this away is a slap in face of the universe.

So how about from now on we just dive in. No more worrying about if we're worthy. We were born worthy. Life is already happening. As for feelings, see what's there because they are happening inside of us. When we have something wonderful being offered to us, say thank you and accept it.

If the other shoe drops, then barefoot it is.


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